What is your anti-vision?
The stick is just as important as the carrot
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“If you don’t know what you want, understand what you don’t want and work in the opposite direction.”
—Dan Koe
The more I try to live with intention, the more I believe you need both a carrot and a stick—a vision that pulls you forwards, as well as a clear picture of what you want to avoid like the plague.
Enter the anti-vision.
When you’re feeling lost, stuck, or unsure of what you want, it’s tempting to search endlessly for clarity, purpose, or the “right” next step.
But sometimes, the most powerful clarity doesn’t come from knowing what you want—it comes from knowing what you don’t.
In my experience, painting a clear picture of your worst-case scenario—the life you absolutely don’t want to end up living—can be exactly what you need to get you moving in the right direction.
The power of knowing what you don’t want
The truth is, most of us are far too comfortable.
Life might be fine on the surface—but fine rarely leads to growth or our best selves.
And without a sense of discomfort or dissatisfaction, there’s often nothing pushing us out of our comfort zone and towards the things that could actually change our lives for the better.
By the time I hit rock bottom at 30, I didn’t need to imagine what I didn’t want—my life had become it.
I was exactly where I didn’t want to be—coming out of a failed relationship, working a job that meant nothing to me on a soul level, and living back at my parents’ house trying to piece things together.
But it wasn’t just the big-picture stuff. It was also the habits and routines I was stuck in—doomscrolling social media, shopping for things I didn’t need, and generally drifting through my days without any real direction.
I felt like I was wasting time, and deep down, I knew it wasn’t the kind of life I wanted or was capable of.
That truly terrified me.
Ironically, it was precisely that fear that became the catalyst for almost everything good in my life that followed.
But here’s the thing—you don’t have to wait for everything to fall apart.
You can tap into that clarity before you reach breaking point.
By creating intentional discomfort and asking hard questions now, you can start moving towards the life you actually want—on your own terms.
Not by overloading yourself with stress or anxiety, but by getting really honest with yourself. Instead of trying to force a picture-perfect vision of the future, you flip the perspective:
What version of life would you regret?
The beauty of an anti-vision is that it works with your brain, not against it. Since we’re wired to avoid pain more strongly than we’re motivated by reward, imagining what you don’t want can be even more powerful than visualising your ideal future.
It helps you confront the hidden cost of staying stuck.
It exposes the limiting beliefs that are keeping you small.
And it gives you a reason to act—before regret has a chance to catch up.
How to set an anti-vision
Before we dive in, it’s worth saying: this is a form of shadow work.
That simply means looking honestly at the parts of yourself or your life you might usually avoid — the fears, patterns, or regrets you’d rather not face.
So take it gently and go at your own pace.
1. Start right where You are
First, take a moment to look at your life as it is today.
What’s not working? What’s draining your energy? What are you tolerating that you know deep down isn’t right for you.
Don’t overthink it—you don’t need to fix anything right now. Just brain dump. It might be:
Your job
Your habits
Your routines
Your environment
Your mindset
This gives you a raw and real snapshot—a foundation to build your anti-vision from.
2. Project forwards
Next, imagine your life five, ten, even twenty years from now if nothing were to change.
Picture yourself continuing along the same path.
What does that version of your life look like?
Would you feel content with how you spent your time, or would there be a sense of regret?
Use the following as journaling prompts to explore it further:
What would I regret if I stayed exactly where I am?
What opportunities would I look back on as wasted?
What habits, patterns, or situations would I be disappointed I never changed?
When I did this for myself, it was hard to ignore what came up. I was very clear that I didn’t want to:
Keep working a 9–5 job building someone else’s dream.
Keep trading time for money, with no real freedom to live fully or pursue the things I cared about.
Keep putting off starting the blog I knew I wanted to create—just because I was scared.
Let fear continue to shrink my life and stop me from putting myself out there.
Stay stuck in routines that kept me from feeling healthy, strong, and energised.
3. Imagine your eulogy
You don’t have to do this—but if you’re willing to take things a step deeper, it can be incredibly powerful.
Memento mori is a Latin phrase meaning “remember you will die.”
The Stoics used it as a daily reminder that life is short, and nothing is guaranteed—not even tomorrow. They believed that by reflecting on our mortality, we’d stop wasting time on things that don’t matter and start living with more clarity, urgency, and intention.
One of the most powerful ways to apply this is by imagining your own funeral or eulogy.
Not the polished, highlight-reel version. I mean the honest one. The version where you stayed in your comfort zone and never stepped into the life you were capable of living.
Imagine it vividly. What would be said about you? And what wouldn’t be?
Ask yourself:
What dreams did I keep putting off, waiting for the ‘right time’?
What kind of life did I settle for out of fear or familiarity?
What parts of me stayed hidden or unexpressed?
What kind of legacy—or lack of one—did I leave behind?
This exercise isn’t meant to scare you. It’s meant to wake you up.
4. Flip the script
These exercises can be deeply uncomfortable—but that discomfort is also revealing.
Your anti-vision becomes a mirror—not just of fear, but of truth. It reflects what you’re avoiding, what you’re tolerating, and what’s possible if you’re willing to make a change.
Now take a step back and look at what your anti-vision is telling you. What matters to you because of what you’re trying to avoid?
Let’s flip some of the statements I wrote in Step 1:
Anti-vision: Working a 9–5 job building someone else’s dream.
Vision: I want to build something of my own and feel connected to the work I do every day.
Anti-vision: Always trading time for money and never having the freedom to live fully.
Vision: I want to create time freedom and live life on my own terms, not just fit life around work.
Anti-vision: Holding back from starting a blog out of fear.
Vision: I want to express myself creatively, share what I care about, and build something meaningful.
Anti-vision: Letting fear keep me from putting myself out there.
Vision: I want to be brave and take risks—even when it’s uncomfortable.
Anti-vision: Staying in routines that stop me from living a healthy, active lifestyle.
Vision: I want to feel strong, energised, and prioritise my health.
What you’ll often notice is that these flipped statements point clearly to your values—the things that matter most to you at a core level.
For me, this exercise actually points straight to mine: freedom, creativity, courage, learning, and health.
From here, you can begin to shape a vision that actually feels aligned. Not a fantasy version of success or someone else’s definition of a good life—but something grounded in your own values, truth, and direction.
A vision that pulls you forwards—and away from everything that no longer serves you.
If this exercise resonated with you, you can dive deeper using the guided prompts inside Intentional Life OS, or simply take your time working through the exercises in this post.
Combine this with setting an inspiring vision for your life, and you’ve got both the carrot and the stick. You can explore more on vision-setting here.